


Snow Day-ze

by WinterWolf649



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Blood Gulch Chronicles, Gen, Snow Day, blood gulch snowstorm, fun snow day, hope its not too wrong, mentions of nudity, used google translate for the spanish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28317834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterWolf649/pseuds/WinterWolf649
Summary: Red Team looks outside of their base to find... SNOW?!?!? What will they do in the snow?Will they have fun?Yes!
Relationships: Dexter Grif & Dick Simmons, Franklin Delano Donut & Dexter Grif, Franklin Delano Donut & Dick Simmons
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Snow Day-ze

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whatthefuckisasweep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatthefuckisasweep/gifts).



“Holy shit!” Simmons breathed running to the window a mixture of horror and unbridled excitement conflicting on his face. Grif looked up cautiously, rarely did Simmons ever react in such nuance. The first thing he noticed was white, fluffy snow gliding down.

“It’s snowing, I hope this doesn’t get us sick, remember what you were like when you had that stomach ache?” Simmons frowned, he was remembering a time when Grif had felt ill and used that to get out of his duties for over half a month, it was honestly pathetic if Simmons were to think about it. 

“Hey, it coulda been appendicitis,” Grif countered.

Simmons snorted in disagreement. “No, dumbass, Sarge literally took your appendix out when he gave you MY ORGANS!”

“At least he didn’t give you my-” Grif stopped dead in his tracks. “He did, didn’t he? Sarge really gave you my appendix?”

Simmons squeaked oddly, which could only be interpreted as him acknowledging how correct the statement was. “H-he wanted to make me a superior soldier.”

“How does giving you my appendix make you superior?”

Simmons opened his mouth to counter, only to be interrupted by another voice. “Oooh! I can’t wait to handle some cold, snowy balls!”

Simmons and Grif stopped in their tracks and turned their attention back to the normally hot and dusty landscape outside, it was snowing pretty heavily. Simmons’s face went bright with wonder and excitement and Grif’s face went slack with amazement, he wasn’t very familiar with snow, having grown up on a tropical island. Donut looked excited in a nostalgic way.

“It’s coming down heavy, thick, and very white!” Donut exclaimed.

Simmons and Grif stare at each other for a moment as if to have an inaudible conversation and they both grin, running outdoors to greet the chilly, snow filled air. A smile wide across Simmons’s crimson cheeks, both breathing clouds as they exhaled. Grif flopped onto the ground and stared up looking at the clouds and snow peppering his vision.

Grif stared at the sky until his eyes slowly closed, feeling the snow fall on his face, until the cloud covered sky suddenly turned dark. Grif was very confused until Simmons’s shrill, annoyed voice cut into the silence. “Grif, what the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m making a snow angel, obviously, I thought you would have known, nerd.” Grif flopped his arms out dramatically as if to demonstrate exactly what he was doing.

“It looks like you’re just fucking laying down in the snow, you lazy bastard.”

Grif would have responded snarkily if he hadn’t suddenly been introduced to a face full of snow. It was cold and hurt a little bit. Grif sat up furiously, he was too annoyed to nap in the snow, Simmons knew the exact way to annoy him into action. Grif opened his eyes and grabbed a handful of snow gathering it into a snowball. 

Grif lobs the snowball at Simmons and hits him square on the back. Simmons turned to Grif, a pissy look on his face. “You asked for it,” he snarled leaning over to gather snow into small round clumps. 

Simmons soon learned to hide behind a rock to keep himself from getting hit by too many snowballs from his often tangerine-clad compatriot. Simmons couldn’t see anyone, especially not Grif, from behind his hiding spot. Simmons definitely couldn’t see Grif sneaking up on him slowly. 

Simmons had a bright cold weather blush coloring his cheeks and a dopey grin plastered on his face and Grif looked on fondly, not that he’d ever admit it to himself or anyone else. Grif was mere feet away from Simmons, about to call a truce, but a familiar voice cut into the playful silence. 

“You two better not be getting it on without me…” After a moment of silence, Donut’s voice came from somewhere in the canyon again. “Why not make this a threesome?”

Simmons noticed Grif crouching feet away from him and nodded, both understanding exactly what to do next. Simmons passed Grif one of his well-packed and ‘rounder than the average snowball’ snowballs and they both threw them at Donut simultaneously. 

The force had Donut fall prone, Grif and Simmons looked at each other and giggled. They would remember this moment forever. Donut stood up and brushed snow off of the rear end of his civvies. “Good thing I had the sense to fall on my back,” Donut said blissfully. He then knelt to gather some snow and an all out war began. Maroon and Orange were on their own team and Pink was his own one man army. 

Smiles and snowballs flew between the two warring factions until one snowball flew the direction of a red power armor clad superior with a disgruntled spanish-speaking robot in tow. A wet ‘snow hitting power armor’ sound was heard and everyone in the fight stopped in their tracks looking at Sarge in horror.

“Line up, you maggots!” Sarge barked. 

Simmons scrambled to kiss Sarge’s ass, like normal, Donut strolled to attention, and Grif meandered to the lineup quicker than normal, seeing as the only ones in their power armor were Sarge and Lopez. Grif wanted to stay alive, to see another Blood Gulch summer.

“To fool those dirty blues, Lopez and I have come up with a completely brilliant plan! You three need to make snowreds to fool those idiots over on blue team! And the worst snowred builder gets a prize, the prize of an early death,” Sarge announced loudly whispering the last bit.

“Yo no dije eso,” Lopez stated.

“Oh, Lopez, I didn’t know you felt that way about Sarge! Please keep your dirty thoughts to yourself,” Donut said clutching imaginary pearls.

“Todos ustedes son idiotas. Voy a arreglar el jabalí,” he said, if he could frown, he would.

“You’re off to write dirty fanfiction of Sheila and Caboose? Have fun!” Donut said misunderstanding completely.

“Get started on the snowreds!” Sarge said before stalking off to observe from a distance, probably.

Grif immediately sat down, leaning against a rock, Simmons began rolling out some snow balls, and Donut began working on a weird seat. Grif began to work on his after Simmons saw he was lazing about and annoyed him into starting his.

Grif got to lazily moving a little bit of snow around, until he gave up a few seconds in and just made three snowballs of descending order and size. He set the balls down and arranged them into a little snowm-snowred. Grif picked up his little snowred and set it on the rock he was leaning against earlier. Grif got out two random plastic arms he had from an old takeout order he had gotten, one of the hands was holding up a middle finger. He stuck the hands into the snowred and decided he was finished. Grif slowly ebbed against the rock, waiting for the inevitable.

Simmons wanted to win, so that meant he had to make the worst snowred, right? Simmons began by gathering a large pile of snow and formed it into a ball, a clumsy ball, but undeniably a fairly large ball of snow. He then went about forming the torso by rolling a ball of snow, completely forgetting his objective. He wanted to make this the worst snowred and he was failing. Simmons got into his perfectionist mode and rounded everything and used whatever rocks he could find to make the perfect snowred face.

Donut was working on a mysterious figure and kept his work a mystery. Donut refused to let anyone see his magnum opus. After a good amount of time he was done and Sarge stopped squatting behind the rock he had hid himself behind. Sarge joined the rest of them in the open and began looking at his men.

“Good work, Soldiers, except for you, Grif,” Sarge said mildly praising Donut and Simmons. ”I will now judge your snowreds. 

Sarge took a look at Grif’s tiny snowred, squatting just to get a better view. He pondered briefly before moving along to see Simmons’s ‘rounder than average’ average looking snowred, with rocks used to make the face. There was a cheeky grin and a wink. Simmons also stuck a few pieces of metal in the sides of the torso to create a couple of makeshift arms.

Donut’s snow sculpture was impressive, to say the least. It was a life sized sculpture of The Thinker, only he was wearing a power armor helmet and was nude everywhere else. “This-this is the most beautiful thing I h-have ever seen,” Sarge crooned.

“Donut, we know you have a thing for Sarge, but did you really need to model him nude?” Grif asked sarcastically.

“I do not have a thing for Sarge, I am just appreciating the male form,” Donut snarked haughtily.

Simmons and Grif looked at each other and one of the both began to respond, but were interrupted. “Everyone should come inside for some vegan hot chocolate. I also made some no-bake cookies!”

That got and held Grif’s attention, he booked it inside for the cookies. “Hey, jackass, don’t eat all the cookies!” Simmons yelled after him rushing inside.

Donut walked over to Doc, “thank you, I can’t wait to taste your yummy stuff again!”

Doc nodded “are you coming Sarge? I promise, no check-ups and no essential oils this time.”

Sarge and Doc walked inside to enjoy cookies and vegan hot chocolate with the rest of their team.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hope you enjoyed this, especially you, whatthefuckisasweep!  
> There's a vague reference to Shakespeare, if you can guess where it is, props to you!  
> Happy Holidays!!!!


End file.
